Our sixth sense is The Vestibular System explains the perception of our body in relation to gravity, movement and balance. The vestibular system measures acceleration, g-force, body movements and head position. Examples of the vestibular system in practice include knowing that you are moving when you are in an elevator, knowing whether you are lying down or sat up, and being able to walk along a balance beam.
Our seventh sense, the one Taylor has problems with, is called Proprioception. It is the sense of the relative position of neighboring parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement. This sense is very important as it lets us know exactly where our body parts are, how we are positioned in space and to plan our movements. Examples of our proprioception in practice include being able to clap our hands together with our eyes closed, write with a pencil or crayon and apply with correct pressure, and navigate through a narrow space.
Taylor cannot run with a normal runners stance. One of her feet is always in contact with the ground instead of being "in-flight" at some point in her stride. She cannot catch a ball without looking where are arms are and she usually misses. She cannot regulate her volume but complains about other loud noises and bright lights. She is emotionally immature for her age and is unable to to accept disappointment or loss, regardless how insignificant the item may be. For example, when a plain yellow balloon popped, she got so worked up over losing her balloon that she threw up over an hour later and three days later is asking about getting another balloon.
Her ability to make sense of parts of her life that were hard to understand has manifested itself behaviorally and emotionally. Defiance and emotional outbursts are usually the order of the day in our home. She has cannot manage her disappointment which immediately sends her into a state of code-red rage. When she cries and her nose runs she blows it everywhere and slobbers all over the place. She reminds me of the old cow in Old Yeller who stumbles around with rabies. This is over something as small as losing a toy or going to time out.
As a baby, when I would find myself, scavenging the internet and crying to every friend and family member I had, I would eventually come to realize that she was experiencing a growth spurt. Last week I found myself in a therapist office in tears and not wanting to take care of my little girl anymore because it had just gotten too hard and I didn't have the tools to teach her how to deal with the life she had been dealt. Heck, I couldn't deal with it! I've heard preachers say that sometimes God delivers us from things and sometimes he delivers us through them. I didn't think either was going to happen to me. You have no idea how hard these times are for SPD families. These growth spurts are literally hell on the whole family. Taylor spirals into turmoil, I quickly fall in-line, then dad and eventually Ashlyn. Pretty soon we are all angry and unhappy. But, in a few months the sun will start to shine again and things go back to normal. Well, I think now we are experiencing a growth spurt.
But what makes this time different from all the rest is her diagnosis. We are now in OT therapy once a week. At her eval, her OT said that today was her birthday, our birthday! There is a light at the end of the tunnel but it is a long, long tunnel. But each week, each month things will get better. God is delivering us through this. And that is how I will get through this, not by focusing on myself, but putting the focus on the Cross. By leaning on him and trusting him to be the giver of strength and salvation.
My favorite verse (and chapter) is Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.
PS. My anger for her pediatrician for not only MISSING all of the signs but for just not hearing me is something I am working on. Her OT said that she has doctors sending her babies! Granted, Taylor's issues are not that severe but I cried to him, in his office, for 5 years! I took her in for "behavioral counseling" 3 separate times. Please, take it from me! PARENTS, YOU ARE YOUR CHILDS ONLY ADVOCATE! NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR YOUR KID!!!
