So, we transferred to Mississippi back in June 2014. We still have the house in NC.
Taylor is 5 and Ashlyn will be 4 in 3 weeks. Taylor is in Kindergarten which has been excruciating. Mississippi has adopted the "popular" federally backed Common Core State Standards. It is way to rigorous for small children and demands too much of their limited attention span. The standard is asking of kindergarteners what would normally be expected of second or third graders and their young minds just aren't made to process that complex amount of information at such a fast pace. Okay, that's my soap box about the public school system. I very seriously considered homeschooling her but decided against it. Here is why...
Taylor's behavior has deteriorated drastically. Life with a strong-willed child is never easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy but if I had to chart the last 3 months there would be dramatic descent into the pits of hell. Don't get me wrong, I love my little girl...I just don't love her behavior! After going back through my posts and a barely noticeable comment by a friend, I think I have narrowed her behavior down to a growth spurt. I guess the good part is that unlike when she was a baby, they keep getting farther apart. I remember saying that if I start pulling my hair out - it's a growth spurt. Coincidently, a friend of the family, who hasn't seen Tay since Thanksgiving mentioned when she saw her recently that she had really grown. Well, it just so happened that I marked Tay's height around the first of November and sure enough...almost 1/2" from Nov to January. Growth Spurt!
As I sit here trying to figure out where to start first with her list of behavioral challenges (for posterity), I quickly realize that the site probably has storage limitations and I will eventually need to go to bed.
1.) Accidents - (Taylor, I apologize in advance!) She is still having potty accidents. Yes, at 5 1/2 years old. When she is playing she refuses to take the time to go potty. On the other hand, if I ask her if she has to go she says she isn't sure. If I ask her if she has wet undies, she says she doesn't know and has to go check. It happened tonight but she knew that she dribbled when she was playing with her barbies...alone. She just refused to stop playing! (Not lazy ~ Strong-willed)
2.) Anxiety - Every time she is told to do something she doesn't want to do or is asked to do stop doing something she wants to do she freaks out. She turns her lips down, raises her eyebrows, puts her hands out and shakes them up and down, and begins to hyperventilate saying or screaming, BUT! BUT! BUT! From here it is all down hill, quickly. Her volume spikes to unbearable levels and it is hard to get her to calm down. I mean hard! Bedtimes are especially difficult. Every single night she has a meltdown when going to bed. Tonight I came up with the idea of scratching her back in the living room and the telling her I would finish in her bed. She loves this and it always relaxes her. I have my fingers crossed.
3.) Negative Thoughts - This scares me. The other stuff is frustrating...this scares me. She says things like, "I just wanna die!" "I don't like myself but I don't know how to change!", "Nobody likes me!". You can see why this is so disturbing. I try to speak God's truth into her. God has GOOD plans for her! (Jeremiah 29:11) And everything will be okay. (Romans 8:28) I just keep praying and trying to speak positive things into her life.
4.) Sensory Issues - This is the area where I have seen the most improvement. She is actually trying new foods on occasion. However, she is also cutting out healthy foods that she was eating, most recently eggs. She still hasn't eaten a vegetable since baby food which she actually used to love. She obsesses, I mean, OBSESSES about sweets. Almost every morning she wakes asking for ice cream or cookies, or something sweet; which yes, we do have because dad has a sweet tooth. This is a tough battle for me because sweets aren't necessarily my thing. I could take them or leave them.
She will now let me put her hair in a pony tail but no headbands. She still will not wear jeans or any pants that snap or zip. We still have issues with shoes and socks. And she is hyper-sensitive to what her clothes look like. She likes to mix and match crazy, I mean CRAZY, things. I have never picked this battle and still don't unless its a weather issue or matter of appropriateness. Oh, and she also hates brushing her teeth since she just lost her front two bottom teeth. She lost the first one in October on the way back from Disney Land. The second she lost last week. Her gums are a bit puffy but she still has to brush her teeth and she hates it. I have to hold her head and do it for her. This does not go over well.
5.) Attention Problems - She is a talker at school which isn't a big deal until she talks while the teacher is instructing. This happens about once a week. When she gets in trouble she has to move her behavior clip from green to yellow. If she brings home a yellow several things happen. 1) No sweets for the entire day, 2) No screen time all day, 3.) Ash and I don't have lunch with her at school on Friday, and 4.) She doesn't get to pick out a small toy over the weekend like she would if she stayed on green all week. So, yellows are a big deal at our house! She has only gotten in trouble for two different things: talking and defiance. She refused to finish her worksheet. Now, worksheets are not Taylor's favorite way to learn by far. So for her to keep her attention focused to finish an entire worksheet is a major feat. Her teachers usually make her stay in for recess to finish her work. I agree and disagree with this. (big sigh!)
This takes so much out of me and Brodie emotionally and the chaos has naturally had a negative effect on Ashlyn. We (mom and dad) are so exhausted that we have regrettable chosen not to fight most battles (instill discipline) because we are just so tired of fighting. (I know, I know!) Ashlyn has turned into a little monster...a cute monster though! The whole family just has to hit the reset button. We are a mess. But please, don't tell anyone! (wink)
So to help get us all back on track we are getting Tay some help and I am also getting someone to help me get a handle on my own anger issues. We need some tools in our tool box to get this ship back on course. I have a feeling that as time passes and she grows up, we will occasionally need some help recalibrating our parenting skills and her behavior.
We love our girls and want to give them the best chance at success possible. But dear Lord...it is HARD! I tell ya, if having kids has taught me one thing is my need for Christ! His words are my foundation and if it wasn't for that I can't say how bad off we would be now, seriously. He really is our solid rock!
