Well, I have come to the realization that I absolutely hate breastfeeding. Both of my girls nurse for 45min-1hr and that is just too long for something to be stuck on me. I also have problems getting Ashlyn to latch on correctly. This is VERY painful.
For now I have started pumping and that is working for now. I realized last night that when I was giving the baby a bottle that I enjoy watching her eat with a bottle, but not when she's breastfeeding. I have an enormous amount of guilt about this. I feel so guilty that I feel this way but I have to realize that breastfeeding has to work for everyone, not just Ashlyn. Taylor doesn't do well when I am nursing either (which I remind you last about an hour). She acts out since she doesn't have my ultimate attention. This just isn't working well for any of us.
Pumping on the other hand takes 10 minutes max. Feeding her from the bottle takes 5 minutes. This, I enjoy. It frees up so much time for everything else that is on fire in our day. Sure there are bottles to wash but I wash dishes everyday anyway so what's a few more.
Yesterday I was pumping about 3oz but last night I was only getting about 2oz. I am increasing my water intake today in the hopes that it produces more milk because Ash needs 3oz/feeding. I could supplement with formula if I don't produce enough milk.
I would like to continue pumping for as long as possible. But I am sure that after a while we will switch to formula. I was really worried about this financially. We are already spending an extra $100/mo on diapers and formula would just add another $100+. But, my husband reassured me that he would pay thousands of dollars extra as long as we were all happy. (What a great guy!) This really took a lot of guilt off of me. I am so thankful for such a great husband!
So, I will continue pumping until I don't have anymore milk, after that, formula. And if some of you are wondering why I am posting about breastfeeding on our blog, it's so that I can have a record of what's going on and when.
Thanks!
P.S. Happy Early Birthday Daddy-Feb. 10th
